Dating

Brandon

I knocked softly on the wide open door that led to the kitchen to announce my arrival, when Killian, Glyndon and Gareth stopped some heated conversation and turned to me.

„Bran“ Glyns eyes sparkled seeing me before she jumped from the high bar stool to greet me. 

„How is my little princess?“ I squeezed her cheeks lovingly. She hugged my middle and retreated again to sit next to Kill who gave me a wave with two fingers. Gareth nodded towards me before he turned to his drink.

I didn’t see Glyndon for a while since she had visited Killian‘s family over the past week so it was nice to see my sister glowing and healthy.

„I hope I’m not interrupting anything“ 

Glyn shook her head. „Nope we were just drinking“

„We were not“ Kill commented, taking the glass from my sisters hand who glared at him.

„Wanna join?“ Gareth asked, lifting an extra glass for me. I shook my head thanking him.

„I was actually looking for Niko? He wrote me to be here at 8. Is he in his room?“

Killian shook his head. „He didn’t come home today“

Gareth agreed. „We didn’t see him at all“

I furrowed my eyebrows and checked my phone. No calls. No messages. That was weird. 

Brandon: Hey, I’m here. But you aren’t?

Normally Niko answered pretty quickly, sometimes too quick making me question myself if he was waiting on the phone for my messages but there was nothing currently.

I looked up at the group who was eyeing me curiously. 

„Uh, did he tell you perhaps where he is?“

Everyone shook their head simultaneously.

I looked down on my phone and saw that he read the message but there was no answer. That was weird.

I decided to call him but he declined after the first ring. My mouth parted in shock.

„What is it?“ My sister asked with a worried tone.

„He declined“

„Ouch“ Kill snickered behind the drink he stole from Glyn, who jabbed him in the side for his comment. I tried again but he declined again and I felt my heart sinking. Was he.. was he ghosting me? But why would he tell me to come here if he didn’t want to see me.

Brandon: Are you mad at me? Is everything okay? 

This time he read it immediately but again, he ignored it. Going offline. When I looked up again my sisters worried eyes met mine and I forced a soft smile. 

„Don’t worry princess, he just wrote me. We meet somewhere else“ I lied and waved at them before I could get an answer. I left the kitchen and felt my whole body shivering with cold anxiety when I played back the last time I saw him. Trying to find a mistake, a fault or a problem that had occurred. But I couldn’t make out anything. I woke up in his arms right after he played and fucked me into oblivion the night before. I passed out and he gave me the most wonderful attention afterwards like he always did. He even made me breakfast, half burned, half messed up, but it was still cute. 

Lotus flowers don’t blossom in the night

I stopped in track, rethinking the last conversation we had before I fell asleep the night before I woke up in his bed. He sounded tensed when he first said that, when I told him that he wasn’t the muddy water but the night in my life. Could it be that it hurt him?

„Bullshit“ I whispered to myself. Then he would’ve had an attitude the next morning but that was not the case. My whole body heated up by just the thought of him devouring me as his breakfast after I was done the morning after. So what happened? I blinked a few times when a heavy thought expanded in my head.

Maybe he is sick of me?

I swallowed hardly, suddenly a big stone in my chest preventing me from breathing. Could that be? That he is done with me? That he is bored by now and wants someone else? I mean everyone warned me about Nikolai, of his impulsive and violent character. Nothing was set in stone with this man and my siblings even talked to me. They wanted to really make sure that I knew who I was hanging out with and that they were scared he’d break my heart. Where they right? 

Was I that dumb?

I reached the end of the corridor and opened the door with a heavy heart. My head was hurting from all the overthinking and maybe it was the best if I went hom-

„Lotus flower“ My body jerked instantly at the nickname, his voice flooding my mind. I looked up and a grinning Nikolai was standing in front of me, hands in his pocket. He even wore a shirt which was a rarity.

Before I could think I lunged at him, throwing my arms around his neck.

He caught me, a gasp leaving his mouth at the impact before he slung his arms around me.

„Oh well, what a nice fucking welcome“

I felt my face heat up when I realized what I did and tried to pull away but his arms were iron grips around me. „Nah ah“ he tutted, burying his face in my neck. „Just a little more“ I tried to push him off but he only let me go after he bit my neck harshly.

I moaned in pain.

„Damn lotus flower, the night just begun. You can’t be tempting me like this or everything I planned will be for nothing“

I blinked at him confused before I regained enough confidence to speak again.

„Why didn’t you answer my messages? And declined my calls“

He retreated something from his back pocket while speaking. 

„I needed a bit more to finish something so i wanted to hurry before getting you“ 

„Finish what“

He dangled a black piece of fabric in front of me. A blindfold. I knew because… well because I knew, okay?!

And though I knew I stepped back and eyes it in suspicion. „What’s that?“

„Oh, you know“ A mischievous glint appeared in his dark eyes and he stepped towards me but I stepped back, keeping the same distance.

„Niko I’m serious! I‘m not up for-“

He rolled his eyes cutting me off. „Don’t worry okay, I won’t fuck you outside while you’re blinded“ 

Heat crept up my neck again when I looked around to assure that no one heard him. 

„Hey, don’t you trust me?“ He grinned, almost like a little kid and I felt my heart break at that because no, I didn’t. If I did I wouldn’t have expected him to leave me or worst that he didn’t see me as someone special for him though there was no denying that he tried really hard for me. In his weird, psychotic, fucked up way. I relaxed my body, insulting myself inwardly when I nodded at him. He chuckled victoriously and came closer, to grab my hand and pull me outside. When we came closer to the gates he stopped me and put on the blindfold, darkening my world completely. I didn’t like the dark and the unknown and it always left me with anxiety and doubt. My twin was the exact opposite. He was able to flourish and create in the night. He worked with the darkness and was kissed by the devil. Landon and I were shadow and light, yin and Yang and I always appreciated that he was able to see in the dark for us, no matter what difficulties we had as siblings. His darkness protected us from any unknown. A rough, big hand enveloped mine and Niko threaded his fingered carefully between mine before he pulled me with him. We walked for a while, no one said anything when I realized that I felt comfortable and safe. Though I couldn’t see anything and it was pitch black I felt secure because Niko was with me. Holding me. At that realization I felt my whole body relax and lean into his touch. I wanted to ask multiple times where we were going but I figured it was unnecessary because he wouldn’t say either way. And I was a patient person so I just tried to enjoy the comfortable silence while we walked the path Niko was leading us through. I felt grass under my shoes and could sense that we were surrounded by nature. So maybe he was planning on fucking me out in the woods. It wouldn’t be a first to be honest that he would bring pleasure to me in such an environment. My heart sped up at the memory of the initiation night when he pushed me into the shadows and against a tree and sucked me off like a savage. I cleared my voice, trying to get rid of the pictures when I felt my cock tensing at the memory. 

„You‘re such a good boy“ I flinched when I heard Nikos deep voice next to my ear. Only then I realized that we were standing.

„I always loved how patient you were lotus flower, it calms me“ He nipped on my ear for a moment before I felt the blindfold loosening. Soft lights were hitting my sight and I rubbed my eyes before I could focus on the view in front of me. 

My mouth fell open as I took everything in.

Niko jumped around me like a large puppy on crack, making victorious sounds.

„That’s exactly the reaction I wanted DAMN I’m so fucking good“

I stepped closer, only to assure myself that I was seeing right. We were right there where we first clashed. Just where my memories came from moments ago. The tree he pushed me against to claim me. But the shadows aren’t as dark and scary right now as they were during that night because this night they were lit up by tiny tiny lights that were hanging from the tree. Niko had made a paradise out of this place. Tiny torches were spread in a circle and in the middle was a big blanket and fluffy pillows, built like a cozy lair. He put up empty canvases and painting brushes and colors and right next to it was a big, white elegant looking tent. It looked so aesthetically pleasing that it looked like a picture straight from tumblr.

„Come on, come on“ Nikolai bursted into my awestruck bubble and pushed by my shoulders, his big body pushing me from behind. 

„You said you didn’t like the nights and the dark because you felt vulnerable and anxious. And since you said I am your night and shit I thought I’d show you how fucking amazing darkness can be“ 

He grinned proudly when he pointed at all the details starting from the tree.

„This is where I sucked you off the first time, remember? This is our tree now so it’s special“

I bit my bottom lip to suppress my laughter as well as my still embarrassment.

Then he pointed at the canvases. „You said you can’t draw at night because darkness sucked out your inspiration“ 

He pointed at the tree and the canvases, mouth wide open as he stared at me like it was obvious what he tried to say. „Get it? I sucked you off and brought you pleasure IN the dark and you said darkness sucked out your inspiration huh, huh, huh?“

I covered my mouth at the ridiculous connection. He sighed almost frustrated. „Lotus flower, come on I’m trying here. So I could bring you pleasure in a place you least expected so I figured I could inspire you also when you least expect it, thus in the dark!“

„Niko-“

„Wait“ he continued and turned me towards the lair showing me the basket full of food.

„Don’t worry I didn’t make it, Cecilia and Jeremy helped me with it!“

„Cecily“

„Whatever“

„You asked them for help?“

He rubbed his neck. „Listen, this was the gayest shit I’ve ever done in my life and you know I’m not able to.. you know be a decent human and whenever I touch something I destroy it rather than make it look pretty so“ he shrugged but then giddily showed me the tent. 

„Cilantro did the tent thankfully cause I would’ve messed it up for sure! You like it??“

I ignored the fact that he miscalled Cecy‘s name again and just looked at him rather than the tent. Nikolai was a big, broad, dangerous looking man. And his looks surely showed what he truly was. A ruthless killer and violent beast. But he also was a way too big grown puppy, maybe deranged and thirsting for blood, but who was capable of showing some sort of affection though it might be in his own, bizarre and unusual way. 

My eyes softened looking at him, a pinch of sadness spreading across my chest when he talked about himself in such a brutal and degrading way. His eyes met mine and his big grin and excitement fell of his face when he looked at me.

„You.. you don’t like it“ he concluded and the way he said it made me want to kill myself but before he could turn into the Tasmanian devil I pulled him down by his nape and kissed him deeply. He startled first but then wrapped his arms around me and deepened the kiss, devouring me in no time. I let him dominate the kiss for a moment before I pulled back and stepped towards the tent and loosened the footing so it collapsed. 

„Lotus flower, why-“

„The lights? Did you do them?“

„What?“

„I said the lights“ I pointed at the multiple lights in the tree. „Did you do them?“

He pointed at the tree, our tree. „Only on this side“

I nodded and went over to the lights from the other trees that were surrounding us and turned as many off as I could. I pointed at the torches around us. „Which one did you light up?“ he blinked confused. „I don’t remember it perfectly but I did some here and Jer did over there“ I blew out some torches and kept some lit. The place fell into a gloomy darkness, not as pretty as before because it looked half done but still visible. I didn’t touch the basket that Cecy and Jeremy did though because I couldn’t throw away the food. Then I sat down on the blanket and grabbed a brush. I looked up at Niko, who still looked confused and patted next to me. He eyed our surrounding, seemingly displeased and joined me on the blanket. 

„Now it’s dark again and ugly“

I scooted a torch closer so my canvas was lit bright and picked up a dark navy blue before dipping my brush into the color. A soft smile spread across my face as I felt a soft and light calmness surround me whenever the muse hit me. „Now it’s perfect“

„Brand-“

I cut him off with a look before I turned back to my canvas and continued painting. Nikolai adjusted behind me, realizing that that wasn’t up for an argument anymore and just watched me paint in silence. Different than me, Niko was definitely not a person of patience and it was a rarity that he could stay still for so long but I felt his eyes on me at all times. I truly wanted to know what he was thinking, what was going on through his dark mind but I was too focused on my canvas to even ask him about it. It’s been a while I’ve painted with such an easiness and calmness. Creating art was always something that connected me with my emotions and so it wasn’t always peachy and perfect. Sometimes I felt angry and frustrated and emotional art was the best art but also the most difficult one. Sometimes I couldn’t look at some artworks I did because it reminded me too much of the pain I went through. And sometimes it uncovered sides of me I wasn’t ready to meet yet. It was rather rare to draw and create with an easy and light heart but this was such a moment and it was dark. Dark literally yes, but not figuratively. For me, this was the brightest moment I’ve had in a while. Full of light and glow. Nikolai touched my heart so deeply that he didn’t even know what effect he had on me.

Slowly I felt him creeping closer, putting his legs around me and putting his hands on my hips carefully, almost as if he didn’t want to interrupt the trance I was in. And I appreciated it. The moment I felt him, jolts of pleasure and energy went through my body. Suddenly the paint brush in my hand turned into a wand and I only realized then that Nikolai was my muse. My own personal darkness that engulfed me so deeply into his night that I was able to float with the stars. I sighed at the new found awareness and leaned back into his chest, my hands never stopping. I don’t know how long we stayed like this, minutes or hours, but Niko never interrupted me until I was done and finally let the brush rolled down the grass. I felt Nikolai lean in closer, chest pressing against my back when his head popped from my side and he analyzed the picture.

„Fuck, this is us“ he muttered almost fearful.

He was right, I drew this whole scenario. The half lit lights and torches, the broken down tent and the dark shadows.

Us from the back, sitting on the blanket as if someone was taking a picture from behind us. Nikolai’s arms tightened around my waist when he scooted closer, still amazed by the picture. „It looks so fucking cool. Much cooler than in real life“

I shook my head.

„That’s how I see it“

„But-“

„This is how it would’ve been if you did it. On your own. And it would’ve been perfect. It is“

„But you hate the dark“

„But I don’t hate you“

„You don’t, huh?“

He nuzzled his face into my neck, inhaling deeply. „What are doing lotus flower?“

I closed my eyes at his rough, deep voice.

„What am I doing?“

„You make me hate myself less and less every day“

My heart sped up at that confession, my internals melting. 

„How do you see so much beauty in ugly“

„By not seeing the ugly in the first place“

He grabbed my throat with his hand and squeezed slightly, mouth against my ear when he rolled his hips into my ass. 

„You’re my ending, lotus flower“

I whimpered at his words that were accompanied by a lick on my earlobe. He reached down with his other hand and squeezed my dick making me mewl in his hold.

„Now“ he whispered darkly, pushing me back against his growing bulge in his pants. „Are you still afraid of the dark?“

He bit my neck again, harshly, making me whine in pain. I pushed his hand off of my dick and turned around which, to my surprise, he allowed. I straddled him, our dicks rubbing against each other through our pants, making us moan in unison. He grabbed my ass cheeks, pulling me even closer. 

„Not anymore“ I whispered before I kissed his jaw and moved over to his ear. 

„But maybe you give me a reason to be“

He groaned like a beast unleashed.

„Fuck, lotus flower, I fucking promise I’m going to be your biggest and best nightmare!“