The Search I

„Why can’t Brandon come with us?“ I asked with a growl, almost clinging onto the dainty beauty that was trying to shake me off. We were all gathered in the suit -except that fucking clown Remington who was caring for his girlfriend- and were getting ready to find more informations about the girls whereabouts. 

Remington excluded himself from this mission by saying „I’m not going to leave Ariella here, after what happened. Someone is behind us and you all know that!“. I didn’t think he was wrong, we all thought that something was incredibly fishy about this. 

„Because it’s unnecessary and I’d rather stay with Mia.“ Brandon answered instead of Jeremy, trying to get rid of my fingers that kept grabbing onto him. „Remington is busy with Ariella and I can’t fight the feeling that this is isn’t a random attack..“

„I’ll stay with Mia“ Landon rumbled. 

„How so? I thought you wanted to check the club with Kill?“ Jeremy asked while cleaning his knife with a white cloth, barely looking up. His tone gave away that he actually didn’t give two fucks about what Landon did.

„I’m fine with it“, Killian commented, staring outside the window with crossed arms, tapping his arm with one finger. He looked neither calm nor tensed. That motherfucker was loaded like a gun and just needed to know into what direction to fire. 

„I don’t trust you fucking bastard. It’s my sister we are talking about“, Landon barked, lip twitching in disgust. Killian scoffed merely. He tilted his head back, messy dark hair falling into his toxic blue eyes when he gave Landon a soulless look. That guy truly was the devils spawn. Everything about him was empty and ruthless. And that says a fucking lot when it comes from me because fuck I don’t remember feeling remorse or anything similar to care for anything myself. 

The difference between me and Killian was, I caused chaos because it was fun and also it was my nature. I loved dancing with my demons and slaughtering my enemies. Kill loved watching chaos unfold and fed off people’s misery. It was a fucked up psychological thing. He wasn’t loyal but smart with the people surrounding him. He did what he was supposed to do to camouflage but in reality the only person he cared for was Glyndon. And that’s only because she was able to do some voodoo shit on Satans heir to quiet down his demons. 

I respected her for that. 

„So Mia is going along?“ Brandon asked, his tone obviously disapproving.

„You’re not taking my sister into the last place the girls were taken“ I intervened, stepping towards them.

„Mia needs my protection!“ Landon growled back, pulling Mia, who has been standing quietly next to us, into his arms. My jaw ticked, I pulled at her arm to free her but that fucker  grabbed my arm, stepping towards me. My vision darkened immediately and I was ready to fucking punch a whole in this motherfuckers head when Brandon’s hand slipped across my chest, pulling me back.

„It’s not smart to take Mia along“, he said with authority whiles slipping smoothly between us.

„Kill and you will have your ways finding out any information and I know you won’t be able to concentrate if your girlfriend“ he nodded towards Kill who was back to looking outside the window, „ or his Cousine is in danger. I’ll be staying here with Remington and Ariella and we will have men with us, right?“

Brandon’s eyes set on me, urging me to comfort his disgusting twin. Damn, I wanted to rather eat shit than to do that. I took a deep breath and let it out, nodding reluctantly. „Yes.“ I said clipped. "She is going to be safe her! I'll make sure of that!" Brandon wasn’t wrong though. Next to Jeremy’s men I ordered immediately more protection after finding Ariella and when we decided to spread up. We needed to be aware of what was going on and there was no way in hell I left my dainty lotus alone with that fucking clown, his broken girlfriend and my dumb in love sister. 

There was some staring and some piss competition right before we left but I didn’t forget to kiss Brandon brutally one last time and order him to fucking take care before I left with Jeremy. Eli and his fake brother disappeared first to the bar where Annikas phone was found as well as Satans heir and my lotus flowers ugly twin who went to the club where Glyndon last called from. If I was lucky, maybe they’d kill each other. 

„Wear a shirt“ Jeremy threw me a black t-shirt at my head the moment we gathered outside of the suite. I had taken it off the moment we stepped into the suite and because I rarely wear anything on my upper body, I didn’t think of putting something on.
„Fuck you!“

„We don’t need more attention. Try to at least act normal. We don’t need you to look like the fucking face of the mafia“

„But I am“
„Doesn’t help our case here“ Jeremy ordered his men to spread out, completely ignoring me which made me wanted to fucking choke him but instead I wore the damn shirt and groaned in distaste. I hated not being bare on top. Shirts were constraining and I liked to think of my tattoos as a second skin. They were just like a warning like those damn snakes had that showed with their patterns and colors how poisonous they were. 

I was being nice here - but oh well.

Getting the information we wanted was not hard. Of course not. 

For some reason it wasn’t that bad to be from the mafia when it came to threatening employees and bullying the staff into speaking up. 

Huh, hypocrites.

We found out rather quickly, that something fishy was going on in the hotel or rather say with some staff members who were obviously paid to shut the fuck up.

When we caught their lies (or rather Jeremy made them almost bleed to death and piss in their pants by threatening their families) they cried like fucking pussys and confessed. Some of them were pleading to help them as it appeared that we weren’t the only ones who wanted to fuck over their families but oh well.

We couldn’t care less. 

Wrong place wrong time.

Jeremy collected all the footage he could gather when his closest men and I surrounded around his laptop. We were currently in a private room that the receptionist worker gave us when a weird feeling spread across my chest.

Jeremys personal guard Ilya was just connecting the hardware with the laptop when I stepped towards the closed door, watching it expectantly.

Something was very much off.

The ringing of my phone took me off guard before I answered it with a clipped „What?“

„Something is off“ Kill’s voice rang through the speaker.

„What do you mean?“

„We were attacked. They knew who Landon was the moment we stepped in!“

I furrowed my eyebrows, meeting Jeremy’s eyes who watched me closely whiles Ilya was clicking through his laptop.
„Where are you now?“

„On our way back.“ I heard a faint groan in the distance before Kill hung up.

Before I could tell my friend what was going on, his phone rang. It seemed like his little sisters boyfriend.
„What did you find?“ Jeremy asked him. It was weird how they had a somewhat normal relationship. Creighton and Jeremy had their issues in the beginning but since that fake King was dating his little purple freak of a sister and apparently made her so happy he decided to loosen the reins. I’m pretty sure he was also pussywhiped by his Kakashi looking ass girlfriend, Cinderella. Fucking idiot. 

I could never imagine being on that level with Landon though we were literally dating each others siblings.

The only reason we didn’t skin each other yet was because of them. 

Jeremy jumped up.

„They saw what?“ His voice was trembling with wrath, his hand was almost breaking the phone in his hand. 

When he hung up he all but threw the device against the wall, groaning in rage.

I didn’t need to ask him what happened nor did I have the chance when Ilya spoke up, totally oblivious to Jeremy’s mood.
„Boss, you should see this“

We both stepped closer to the laptop and watched the display.
Ilya had opened one of the footages we collected and a horror scene was playing right in front of us.

Usually I liked horror but this, this was calling for blood and revenge.

The footage clearly showed men with ski masks entering the girls room. One of them carrying Ariella who seemed to be dressed in party clothes then. I exchanged looks with Jeremy who thought the same. She was undressed when we found her…

They disappeared in the suite, the camera only showing the entrance spot when men with Golfclubs and bats stormed inside after the man who carried Ariella inside.

Ilya fast forwarded until the men got out, not in a rush, nor in secrecy. 

What took us both off guard was the fact, that the last one, who seemingly had carried Ariella, as we recognized him by his prominent sleeve tattoo, stepped right into the center of the picture and tugged on his dick, adjusting himself.

He fucking dared to look up and pull his mask up to his lips to grin and give the camera a thump up.

Silence stretched across the room when Jeremy paused the footage and closed his eyes, fingers pinching the bridge of his nose.

It was obvious of how it looked like and it was sickening, maddening.

Ariella was the least problematic and most accepting of the girls squad. Even towards me. I knew how everyone approached me and viewed me the first time they saw me but Ariella wasn’t afraid to smile at me politely, giving me the benefit of a doubt. 

Hell she is together with that fucking clown Remington, that already showed that she had a heart bigger than anyone and a brain smaller than most. 

Fact stands, that she is the youngest amongst us all and the least person who deserved any of this. Hot rage engulfed my body when I imagined that that could’ve been my sister if she maybe had joined the girls.

„What the fuck is going on“, Jeremy hissed under his breath. My friend was slowly losing his normally collected demeanor. There was one thing that he hated the most and that was losing control. And slowly but surely, the situation was slipping through our hands.

The odd feeling from before tugged on my chest again and I turned to the door.
I thought Kill’s concerning phone call was the reason behind my gut feeling but it seemed like it wasn’t.

I stared a hole into the door until I decided to turn back to Jeremy to ask him what that fake King son told him when in the last moment a loud thud echoed against the door.

Before any of the men could react I reached the door in three steps and opened it.

Reflexively I caught the dainty lotus in my arms who groaned in pain.

My vision tunneled.

„Brandon. Brandon what the fuck?“

I signed two men to get outside and check the situation when I cradled my dainty lotus in my arms, only to feel wetness against my palm.

I almost didn’t want to look at it but it was already too late and I saw the deep red blood painting my hand.
Brandon was panting in my arms when I pulled him down on my lap, sitting down.
„Fuck. Fuck.“ I snapped, lifting Brandons shirt to see a deep wound on the side of his stomach. „Fucking hell, lotus flower, who did this to you. Who fucking touched you?“

„Mia..“ He panted, chest heaving in pain. „Mia tricked the guards and disappeared. I tried to find her and-“ He had to stop in a hiss when he moved wrongly. I brushed his hair out of his eyes. „-I was attacked when I reached the park house in the underground. I heard her screaming. When I tried to find her some masked men held me back and stabbed me.“

I grabbed the stool that was next to me and threw it against the wall in pure white rage. Screaming. 

Those men were dead. 

Fucking dead.
I’d kill them and revive them until they slit their own throats in despair.

I will fucking torture them for the rest of their entire existence for touching what’s mine!

They kidnapped my little sister, making her scream and my fucking lotus flower was bleeding in my arms. It was settled, - I will make them pay for every moment of fear that my sister felt and every drop of blood my dainty lotus lost.

We rushed Brandon to the suite and I laid him down into one of the bedrooms. Jeremy instantly called people to arrange a doctor in secrecy. Shortly after Eli and Creighton King stepped inside, both checking on their cousin when I heard Landons voice.

„Where is my brother?“, he yelled at Jeremy.
Shortly after he stepped inside with Kill and rushed to his twins side.

His jaw clenched, face sharpened when his voice sounded ruthless.

„Who did this to you, Bran?“

Brandon on the other hand was panting and obviously looking for the right words to find to tell his brother that his girlfriend got kidnapped.

Eli patted Landons shoulder.
„Let him rest for now. The doctor will come soon, then you can ask him again“

We all stepped outside and I closed the door behind my back.

You could almost fucking taste the tension in the room.

„Creigh and I-“ the original King brother wanted to start when his cousin interrupted him.

„Where is Mia?“

I clenched my hands into fists, the reality of my sisters whereabouts still burning my throat like acid.

No one dared to answer.
„Where the fuck is Mia?“, Landon asked again, this time louder.

„Gone“, Jeremy answered, voice cold and hard.

Landon stepped closer.
„Gone?“, he asked, almost warningly. He was daring Jeremy to repeat that. 

The latter nodded towards the closed door behind which Brandon was lying.
„Your brother got attacked when he tried to safe her. Mia-“

„WHAT?“

There was no time to react when Landon jumped on Jeremy, instantly pummeling him. It took the latter a few seconds before he kicked the evil twin back and regained his stand, getting in position. Ilya wanted to step in but Jer’ yelled at him to wait outside with the other men.

Landon instantly attacked again, lunging at him with a tactic this time.
Jeremy dodged and punched him right into his guts, making the other choke in pain. He then elbowed his face, the impact flung him to the side. Landon only startled for a moment before he collected himself quickly enough and kicked into Jeremy’s kneecap, making him bow at the impact and then crash his knee into my friends face.

Seeing blood rushing down my friends face made me see red myself, reminding me of Mia’s disappearance and Brandons pain, so I tugged onto Landons hair before he could get at Jeremy again and smashed him against the table nearby. 

The King brothers rushed to me but I dodged them skillfully, not letting Creighton coming near me because I knew that he was a quick and good fighter. 

I jumped at Landon again, kicking him across the face with my foot. Landon fell back against a shelf, stuff falling out, the tv at the wall shaking. 

„You motherfucker“, he hissed under his breath, lunging at me. I felt two pairs of arms holding me back before I could counter attack Landon, so that fucker was able to head punch me right into the face. 

I was held down when Landon kept punching me.
„You“ Punch „Fucking“ Punch „Said“ Punch „She’d“ Punch „Be“ Punch „Safe!“

He panted in pain and fury while working on my face.
„I fucking should’ve known better than to trust you motherfucker!“

A loud scream ripped from my chest. Somewhere in the back I felt how one pair of arms let go, probably because Jeremy involved himself, but I couldn’t waste time looking back.

The moment I was able to free myself I threw myself at Landon, grabbing him by the middle and pulled him down, straddling his waist.

How fucking dare he, acting like he was the only one caring for Mia when she was my fucking sister.

Acting like I didn’t give a fuck, that I didn’t care for her fucking safety.

I didn’t give two fucks if he was her fucking lover boy or husband or even her damn god, she was my sister first and her security and safety has been my priority before this fuckhole even appeared in her life.

I kept on pummeling Landon, throwing punches after punches, pushing anyone away that tried to interfere. At some point I was pulled back by Creighton and -fucking traitor- Jeremy when Landon barely moved under me. Rage was blinding me and I was still fighting against them, cussing and barking at them. 

The moment I heard a whine to my right I stilled. I wouldn’t, couldn‘t hear anything or anyone in the state of rage. I was untamable, ruthless and no one could stop me when I intended to kill. I didn’t have a heart, but that right there. The dainty and ethereal looking boy at the door of the bedroom, with silky shining hair, deep blue eyes and a fucking wound in his stomach, that made me want to burn down the whole fucking world down, was the only one who could make me still for a moment. Make the devil halt, pause, to make sure he was alright. He was the single pure drop in my soul that wasn’t filthy, tainted. 

A single drop that completely shifted my balance and moved my focus completely to him. That boy right there, was the only heart I had. 

I stopped fighting everyone, ignoring Landon that was slowly sitting up and immediately rushed to Brandon. It was strange one might think, how both were supposedly looking identical but I didn’t see my lotus flower when I fucked up Landon. Where Brandon had beauty, grace, his twin brother had darkness and annihilation. I reached Bran right before he could collapse. I caught him just in time and helped him get up. „You shouldn’t be up!“ My voice sounded rough, still effected by all the fighting and screaming. He pushed off of me and limped over to his fucking brother. I felt the darkness coming over me again like a shadow. My head ticking. He crouched down next to his twin and tried to lift him and naturally failed miserably. Landon groaned and came up, discreetly helping his brother to sit and not help him.

„I‘m good“, he hissed, spitting to his side to get rid of the blood of his mouth. His eyes finding mine, looking at me full of disgust and hate.

Brandon made a displeased sound, eyes closing at the pain, making me cuss. I rushed to his side and helped him up again, Landon holding his other arm to support him, completely ignoring his own wounds. 

„Fucking go lay down Bran, the doctor will be here any minute!“

His brother shook his head stubbornly.

„I can’t have you two kill each other“ he panted. 

I clenched my jaw, feeling his whole body heating up and trembling.

„Lotus-“

„No! This shit doesn't fucking resolve anything, okay? Mia was abducted because we are being watched. Sooner or later they would’ve tried it. With or without protection!“ He looked pointedly at Landon who bit down on his teeth,  turning away from him. He went to the big window next to the balcony and stood silent just like Kill did the whole time.

Brandon leaned on me, his strength leaving his body and I reacted instantly by lifting him bridal style and getting him into the empty bedroom. 

I laid him down and helped him out of his shirt, my jaw clenching when I saw the blood dripping through the makeshift bandaid. I cursed under my breath and rushed over to the bucket that one of the men brought before to clean up his wound. Brandon didn’t look at me, face turned away which made my blood boil.

I reached over to his face and forced him to watch me. He tried to push me away but I only held onto his jaw more forcefully.

„Eyes on me, lotus flower“

„I don’t want to“

„That wasn’t a question!“

„And that wasn’t an option! I said I don’t want to“

I dug my nails into his cheek, leaning down.

„Don’t you dare“

He panted, whining in discomfort which made me remember that he fucking had a stabbing wound on his stomach. I loosened the hold but I couldn’t move myself to let him go fully.

„Fuck you, Nikolai! You want me to be normal when you almost fucking demolished my brother!“

„Watch that fucking mouth, Brandon!“

He pursed his lips, eyes losing their light and I wanted to fucking punch Landon again just for making me deal with this shit.

„You don’t have the right to act surprised“

„So I will always be scared that you could possibly kill someone that I love just because-“

„Just because what?“ I growled, standing up and hovering over him. „Just because he insulted and attacked someone I care about? Just because I’m also in pain because my fucking sister just got abducted and I’m a fucking monster who doesn’t feel?“

Brandon’s eyes widened, guilt swimming in his deep blue eyes. He opened his mouth to say something, body lifting up before I pressed him down. He shouldn’t be moving in that state though I was fucking furious I couldn’t help caring for his health first.

I sat down, coming face to face with him.

„No actually you are right. I am heartless, I am not capable to feel. But you know what? The only reason I’m not killing your brother right now is you, lotus flower, so don’t you dare accuse me of being immoral when you are the only moral I have! I might be heartless but you, you fill that void. Infuriatingly, obstinately, you fucking squeezed yourself into that hole and make me rethink, even for a moment. Because I am a monster and I will stay a monster.“ I stood up again, covering him with a blanket and left the room before he could say anything. 

When I stepped outside only Kill was standing at his designated spot at the window.

He didn’t acknowledge me so I didn’t bother as well. The rest of the evening went in a blur. No one was really talking with each other. The doctor came and treated Brandons wound. Jeremy tried to manage everything in the background, making his men run around and telling Ilya to collect the most recent footage to find out more about Mia’s kidnappers and how it all went down. 

Eli and Landon where nowhere to be seen - good because I still could attack that motherfucker - and Creighton was with Remington and Ariella. 

The clown still didn’t know what we found out and I asked myself if his girlfriend knew and was simply hiding it or if she didn’t remember herself what happened.

No one asked her yet what she remembered as she was still traumatized. 

At some point Jeremy came up to me, a faint violet color already was dusting across the bridge of his nose. That fucking Landon.

„We found the car from Mia’s kidnapper“

I jumped up instantly.
„Let’s go“

„No“
„NO?“
Jeremy lifted an eyebrow, his whole posture yelling control and authority. 

„No. Ilya is on his way and will give us a sign to follow. They seem to change cars rather frequently which means they won’t be leaving country but are trying to dissolve the track in order to hide better and we’d lose them if we follow them without a plan. I got my hackers behind it, they are following the driver.“
At that moment his phone blinked with a message. He checked it shortly only to look at me with faint hint of a devilish smirk.

„Be ready at midnight. We’re going for a hunt“

It was hard for someone as uncontrollable as me to be in fucking control.

To be patient and not jam Jeremy’s knife he always had with him in his own fucking throat for making me wait for orders and plans. Instead of doing that - which I really, really wanted to do - I nodded stiffly and went to the only person who was able to distract me from murder until I was free to kill.

When I stepped into Brandons room it was dark, only the night lamp next to his face was glowing in a low orange light.

I checked Brandon’s forehead, making sure the fever went down before I laid next to him, on his healthy side. I wouldn’t sleep but we had still some time before we went for the hunt and I had to get away from this motherfuckers for as long as I could or I’d kill them with my bare hands. 

Brandon stirred next to me, moaning in his sleep that made my cock twitch in response. That little fucker was the most erotic person in this world and no matter the circumstances or what state, he never failed to tease me. I took a deep breath to calm myself down. 

„Niko?“ his deep voice filled the room, my body tensed and I suppressed a frustrated groan. Fuck me

„Mhm?“ I didn’t look at him. 

He stayed still for a moment, I almost thought that he went back to sleep when he started shifting towards me. He groaned in pain.

„Fucking hell, lotus flower, what are you doing?“ I stopped him looking at his face and immediately got lost in his deep eyes. My grip loosened and he used to opportunity to scoot closer until he managed to put his head in my chest, lying on his healthy side. He panted a bit at the exertion and tried to regulate his breathing. My body stayed tensed for a bit until he slowly, carefully, reached over to my hand that was lying on my stomach. 

„What are you doing?“ 

My voice sounded harsher than intended which made Brandon stop in track and pull his hand away. He waited for a moment and when I didn’t say anything he did what he always did when being scared - he retreated. 

He lifted his head to move back but I wrapped my arm quickly around his back, careful to not hurt him and held him in place. 

„You don’t need to do this“ he mumbled after a while.

I didn’t respond and so we stayed like this for what seemed like hours.

I focused on Brandon’s breathing, counting it, adjusting to breathe accordingly, calming down to it. 

I couldn’t understand how he was the crazy wrapped up in serenity. He was unleashing a devil by calling for an angel and I wanted to ruin him while building him up from scratch. This boy was my ruin and I wanted to burn down under him only. 

I took a deep breath and pulled the dainty boy in my arms deeper into my chest when the other whined in pain, making me loosening the hold immediately.

„No, don’t“

„You’re in pain-“

„I’m used to pain when I’m with you“

My body tensed at his words, jaw clenching.

„So, I’m always hurting you, huh?“

„Yes“ He rolled deeper into my chest, groaning at the pain but didn’t stop until he laid his arm around my middle, nuzzling his face deeper into my neck. He always took this position after sex, when he was the most vulnerable, most approachable. 

Most honest. 

„How else would I know that I am alive?“ 

Fuck me..

He panted softly, trying to suppress the fact that he overestimated himself. 

„Seems like all you connect with me is something negative“

He stiffened in my hold, his head turning up to look at me but I couldn’t meet his eyes.

„I’m sorry..“ he whispered with an almost broken voice.

So it was true. I was all the fault in his world. And though I couldn’t give two fucks to give because I couldn’t let him go, it still bothered me that I was the worst thing in his life when he was the best for me. 

„I’m sorry that it seems that way“

I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion. 

„It’s not?“

He shook his head against my chest, nuzzling his face closer into my neck in that process.

„Have you ever seen how pictures were developed before technology? 

You know, Polaroids and such?“

I gave him agreeing sound. 

„You are what society deems you to be bad. What my morals say. A negative in this world.“

He cupped my face, his voice barely a whisper when he turned my head so I would meet his glowing blue eyes.

„But to me you are a perfect picture made into my most valuable memory. A negative turning into a picture. The negative you are makes my life worth memorizing. Reminiscing. I need your darkness in order to see life through a lively frame, Nikolai.“

His hand on my cheek trembled slightly and I was sure that it wasn‘t because of the pain but because of the emotions that went through his body.

My lotus flower was dainty and soft like that. 

I breathed out slowly before claiming his lips but to both of our surprises it wasn't wild, devouring like I always did. This time, I wanted to feel him, taste his every word he just said, stroke every noun and term. I breathed in his addicting scent of forest and lotus and carefully turned my body towards him. 

This boy was my doom as well as my redemption. I felt like a phoenix with him, burning into ashes and being reborn from it. He moaned into my lips, his hand grasping into my hair with a needy tug. Fuck me!

I wanted to leave this fucked up place, find my sister and kill those motherfuckers for even daring to touch her and my lotus flower. I wanted to get over with this shit as fast as possible and get back to fucking this boy in my arms to show him that he was my world- not scratch that. 

He was my fucking universe and I wanted to show it to him every moment of my entire existence and in every fucking position there is. 

Something in the back, far back, of my fucked up brain I remembered that Brandon was hurt so I reluctantly pulled back, panting against his lip.

„Don’t start something you can’t finish, dainty lotus, you are hurt“

A slight pout was visible on his face. „I don’t fucking care“ he whined.

I couldn’t help but laugh out loud, my whole body shaking at the lightness this boy was spreading through my whole being. Brandon was never forward with sex. He was needy, a fucking cocktease and we both knew how he loved when I was rough, demanding and ruthless with him. He depended on that. This was a rare occasion when he was so open with his neediness and I hated we couldn’t act on it. 

Who would’ve thought that we would ever be in a position where I had to be the mature one?!

A knock rang through the door, startling the dainty boy in my arms, making me grip him harder reflexively to protect him.

„What?“ I barked.

„We’re leaving Niko, fucking move“ Jeremy’s voice echoed in the dark room.

I helped Brandon back to his position, giving him one last, demanding kiss before jumping up.

„Stay safe!“, I ordered.

„Behave!“ he demanded.